âWhat if every night you go to sleep you wake up as someone else?â
âWhat the hell are you talking about?â she replied with a smirk, before taking a sip of her gin.
âI mean, how do you know you didnât, like⌠die? And maybe the only reason you think youâre the same person is because you inherit all these memories. Like the ones that come with your brain.â
âBut if Iâm dead, what memories?â
âNo, okay, like⌠Okay, so imagine that this morning when you woke up. That was the start of your existence. You just think youâre however old you areââ
âTwenty-six.â
âHuh?â
âThatâs my age. Twenty-six.â She gave him a wink as she took another sip, before resting her head back down on her fist. Her arm wobbled a bit, as she belched silently.
âUhâŚâ he replied and gave her an awkward chuckle. Her mature features and subtle crowâs feet betrayed a woman somewhere in her mid 30âs, and they both knew her profile read 36. âRight, right, heh. Well, anyways⌠So, the reason you remember this whole life before today is because of this brain you have now. Your consciousness inherits your memories, your personality, and everything else about you from your bodyâyour brain mostly. But in reality, youâyour consciousnessâdidnât come into being until this morning. And when you go to sleep tonight, youâre going to die, and someone elseâs consciousness takes over your body. And that person will just think that theyâre you, and so on.â
âOkay, soâŚ?â
âSo⌠I mean, thatâs like the hard problem of consciousness right there. We canât ever really know if qualia remains consistent over time or if it exists in others. I mean, we certainly seem to think we exist. Cogito ergo sum and all that. But, I mean⌠have you ever heard about the ship of Theseus?â
âLook, I gotta be honest here, Phil. I have had way too many drinks for all this Latin and⌠conscious⌠whatever.â
âTheseus was Greek, actually.â
She rolled her eyes. âI was talking aboutâhicâthat quote from, uh⌠whatâs hisâDali? No! Des Cartes! Des Cartes.â
âAh, so you have some familiarity with existentialism.â
Another eye roll. âBasic shit, Phil. High SchâhicâHigh School Social Studies. Youâre gonna have to try harder, Mr. Smarty Pants.â
âHehâŚâ he replied, before quickly changing the subject. âDid I mention I like your outfit? Great costume.â
She looked down to her skin tight black suit and caressed herself with her clawed fingers, before reaching up and fondling the little black cat ears attached to her headband. âSo you like pussy after all, eh?â
They both exchanged lecherous laughter and a knowing gaze. He liked a woman who knew how to tease, and she certainly enjoyed doing it.
âFeel like taking off?â he said with a smile, gesturing to the door with his thumb.
âI thought youâd never askâŚâ
She awoke with some measure of regret. She remembered snatches of the night prior. Leaving the Halloween party with Phil. Summoning a ride on her phone and taking it back to her place. Sloppy drunk sex with a man she hardly knew. It was enjoyable enough, but now came the awkward morning. She was sure she would have a headache, and she would want to just get him out of her apartment as quickly as possible.
As she slowly opened her eyes, however, she found something that she did not expect. Darkness. Even if her blackout curtains had been closed, she would expect it to be brighter than this. Instead of the faint glow of a sunny Los Angeles morning in her apartment, she was confronted with a black space, accompanied by only the dimmest of distant orange light. Not the golden hue of the sun, but rather some eerie orange glow like a harvest moon. But even moonlight would be preferable to what she saw. It was actually more like a dim candle shining through some foul fluid like sewage or formaldehyde.
The latter correlation was all the more disturbing, considering her vision was being clouded by something. A thick film that was not only over her eyes, but all around her. She was immersed in some kind of suffocating goo. Literally suffocating, in fact.
Panic washed over her and she struggled to swim. It took her a moment to realize she could simply stand up. After some violent confused flailing, she rose to her feet and struggled to breathe. Sticky, warm, gooey globs of viscous liquid slowly dripped from her naked body as she gasped and coughed.
She was standing in a small pool of this gunk, whatever it was. It was too dark to make out its color exactly. But the smell was inescapable. An entire pool of putrid swill. Had she perhaps fallen down a sewer or something? Yet, whatever was covering her skin almost had the consistency of syrup.
As that hot muck oozed off her in long sticky drips, the space she was in grew rather cold. Clouds of vapor rose up from the pool like a hot tub in winter. The rest of that dark interiorâlit only by sickly orange light from some unseen source in the distanceâwas nearly freezing.
Shivering from head to toe, she slowly stepped out from the pool onto a cold spongy floor of some indeterminate material. In the dim light one could just barely make out ripples in that surface. An almost organic surface, but not in a comforting way. It was somewhere between the skinless sinews of a dead animal and wet bone. And its appearance was almost insect-like. Like the exoskeleton of some great beetle. A low droning rumble emanated from the walls, along with indistinct crackling sounds. Something like rubbery bellows expanding and contracting. And occasionally the light plopping noise of some unseen liquid dripping, drop by drop every few moments.
âOh my god, oh my godâŚâ she started to mutter, quickly growing louder as she frantically surveyed that nightmarish landscape. As she did, the scene grew only more disconcerting. In the distance, vapor clouds rose up from other pools. Glowing pools in the dark. And inside those poolsâŚ
âShhâŚâ a voice whispered from behind.
She turned around toward the voice. When she did, the sight made her eyes widen and her heart pound. She was on the verge of letting out a scream of absolute terror, when that frightful figure grabbed her and covered her mouth, thereby muffling her wail. The horrendously shocking figure that had sent her into such mad alarm wasâunlike everything else in this cold alien interiorâterrifying in its fierce familiarity. For the hand that covered her mouth and the intense eyes that peered into her own was none other than⌠herself.
âThey can hear you,â her doppelganger whispered.
At those words, the room grew even colder as a chill ran down her spine. And in the midst of such cold, she froze. The other then held a finger up to her lips to gesture for quiet, before the woman silently moved to her side. The woman was wearing a thin white robe, and its silky fabric brushed against her cold wet sticky skin as the woman came up to her ear and whispered again.
âChristina,â she said, âwe have to get out of here.â
Christina was already shivering at this point, but her trembling flesh quaked all the more, as she shuddered at the sound of her name. A name spoken with piercing acquaintance in a voice that sounded exactly like her ownâat least her voice as heard in a recording. Christina slowly turned to the woman and stared, mouth agape, while still quivering from head to toe. The face was uncanny. Like looking in a mirror, but more immediate and real. Like the woman in the mirror had found a way to crawl out and take on a life of her own.
âNow!â the mirror-woman exclaimed in an aggravated whisper. Thatâs when Christina realized the other had been holding up a robe. She gave it an angry shook and Christina finally took the hint.
âWh-where are we?â Christina whispered, as she pulled the robe down over her head.
âThis way,â the woman said, ignoring Christinaâs question while starting to march off into the dark.
âWait!â Christina wheezed out in a pleading whisper. âWhere are we going? Who are you? How did I get here?â
The woman stopped in her tracks and let out a sigh. âGod, was I really this fucking annoying?â she muttered, mostly to herself. The woman then turned around, rolled her eyes, and pressed her face uncomfortably close to Christinaâs. âLook, all you need to know right now is you arenât safe here. Do you want to die? If you donât, then come with me. You do? Too fucking bad. I came too far, and I will drag you out of here if I have to. Do you understand?â
Christina gulped and surveyed her surroundings, before quickly turning back and nodding in silence.
She struggled to keep up as the woman marched into the dark at a brisk pace. They passed pools of steaming goo, some empty, some⌠occupied. In the case of the latter, were women. Floating, as though dead or asleep. Silent, naked, motionless, and all looking exactly like herself.
âHere,â the gruff doppelganger said in her usual hushed tone, as she gestured to a depression in the wall. In that little recess was something like a grate. The woman quickly turned and pulled it away, revealing a gaping dark crawlspace filled with blackness.
âW-wait, youâyou want me to get in there? How do Iââ
âQuiet!â the woman hissed. She tapped her ears as a gesture and gazed about the pools with wide eyes.
Thatâs when Christina heard it. Something like a soft murmur or moan echoing from the distance. And then goopy splashing sound, followed by trickling dripping noises. Another moan, that started to turn into a cry. Off along the far wall, in one of the pools, a figure was standing. A shadow amidst shadows, shivering now in the dark. And then that figure did something which sent a shiver down both womenâs spines. It spoke.
âMommy?â it cried. âMommy?!â
The little girlâs voice rang throughout the space like an alarm bell. Its echo bounced off the walls like a crashing clamber of cymbals.
âShit!â the woman said in her full voice, for the first time.
âWhat? Who isâ?â
Christina watched out in shock and confusion, as the other woman brushed past her and ran toward the girl with unrestrained haste. It was less than half a minute before she reached that distant silhouette. The sound of her rapid footfalls was accompanied by something else. A kind of whirring chittering sound. It started off in the dark, somewhere in the far distance to Christinaâs left.
âAhh!â the little girl screamed as the woman grabbed her naked body and raced back to Christina. âLet me go! Put me down! I want my mommy!â
In between the echoing cries, the chittering clamor grew louder. It seemed to be coming from the ceiling. Inhuman patter of something like many feet and a kind of buzz or whir. By the time the woman and the girl had returned to Christina, the buzzing whirring chittering noise was just beyond several pools and approaching with alarming speed. In the midst of the orange-hued darkness, a strange shadow loomed larger and larger as it made its approach.
âIn the shaft! Now!â the woman screamed. Christina nodded hurriedly and crawled into the darkness, as the woman pushed the now-screeching girl in with her. A metalic scraping sound clattered in the dark, as the woman grabbed and retrieved something from the little black tunnelâs floor.
The buzzing chittering shadow was only a few yards away now, clinging to the ceiling before dropping down with an omnious loud flutter. It stopped for a moment, before crawling forward a yard or two. In the gloom, Christina could see it more clearly now. And the sight filled her at once with both dread and disgust.
It was like a grasshopper, but as large as a horse and more menacing. It had a curled stinger that wiggled around behind it in the dark. Perhaps most disturbing of all was its face. A strangely humanoid face, but with lifeless eyes below. Massive souless pupils glared at the woman, but without moving. It slowly opened its mouth revealing a gaping maw filled with rows of spikes.
âCâmon!â the woman cried out, while Christina looked on in terror.
âI want my mommy!â the little girl squeeled.
âCâmon! Iâm here, you piece of shit!â she shouted again, goading the monstrous insect-like abomination.
It extended its hairy forelegs toward her like pincers, as it raised its stinger tail up like a scorpion. Within a flash, the stinger shot forward and down at least a dozen feet through the air, but the woman was ready. She batted away the tail with the blunt weapon in her right hand, while simultaneously rushing toward the monster. When she was close enough, she threw some kind of liquid in a container from her left hand, spraying the side of the creatureâs face. It, in turn, screeched and recoiled.
The attack gave her just enough time to rush toward the tunnel and close the grate behind her. Screeching, buzzing, and chittering ensued as the insect monster clawed at the grate and walls. Christina was gripping the little girlâs mouth closed now, while the little girl wailed as she could through her nose. After a moment, it finally gave up and flew back into the dark.
Another moment passed while the two women caught their breath. Christina finally spoke up. âWhat the hell was that thing?â
âLocust,â the other woman panted.
Several minutes passed as they crawled in relative quiet through the dark grimy tunnel. After the other woman had fended off the âlocust,â the little girl started to listen to reason and passively rode on Christinaâs back as she scooted along on her hands and knees, following the sound of her doppelgangerâs own shuffling. The swish of fabric, the pat-pat of hands and toes, occasional huffs and puffs, and the perpetual scraping of the metal rod she dragged along with her. Whether from trauma or passive acceptance, the little girl remained silent, apart from the occasional sniff and soft whine.
âOkay,â Christina spoke up, âyou have to tell me now. Where are we going?â
âWeâre meeting up with a man named Phil,â the other said with a sigh.
âPhilâŚ? You wouldnât happen to meanââ
âHave you met a man named Phil yet?â she interjected. âSomeone you related to?â
âHeh, well⌠Last night I just slept with a man named Phil.â
The other woman stopped in her tracks. Christinaâs hands brushed the womanâs feet, before she stopped, herself. After a moment, the woman continued crawling without explanation.
Finally, she spoke again. âLife was so much simpler back then.â
âBack then?â
âLook, this Phil isnât the one you knew. But heâs just as sharp. Itâs been over a year, but if heâs right we might just be able to actually get out of here.â
âOver a year? I just got here! Are you trying to tell me that⌠this is⌠there is⌠some kind of time travel or something?â
She replied with a sigh. If their inky surroundings hadnât prevented Christina from seeing, she probably would have been frustrated at the sight of how hard the other woman rolled her eyes. After a moment of invisible head shaking while they continued crawling, the woman spoke. âYou still have the luxury of asking irrelevant questions. I lived through hell on earth for seven years before I got here. Whatever here is and when and how⌠Iâll leave that to Phil. For right now, just save your breath and focus on keeping up.â
Christina did as the woman said. They crawled for some untold age in the deep black void of that tunnel. A time that no doubt seemed longer than it really was in the discomfort of that tiresome space. The little girl on Christinaâs back remained surprisingly silent for the journey, letting out only the occasional sniff and sigh.
Finally, after that interminable moment, there was a light at the end of the tunnel. Nothing quite like the reassuring brilliance of sunlight at the end of a cave, but rather more like the ghostly glow of some bioluminescent sea creature, floating in the distance amidst the inky black of the deep ocean. Nevertheless, it sometimes only takes a glimmer to reignite hope, and that fire burned in Christinaâs bosom, kindling her limbs, moving her to pick up the pace.
After momentarily bumping into the womanâwho didnât share as much of that enthusiasmâher double sped up as well. Before long, they were emerging into the dim gray of some open space, with only the barest hint of blue to an otherwise colorless fog.
They each crawled out onto a narrow walkway, just barely thick enough to support a pair of feet while standing with oneâs back to the wall. A gray featureless wall which stood across a gap from another identical wall with its own tiny ledge a couple dozen feet away. Christina made the mistake of looking down, and her stomach immediately rolled somersaults. There was no discernible bottom. An endless dark pit growing mercilessly down, before fading into the dark fog. Likewise, above, the walls of that bland corridor rose endlessly into obscurity. Far below, beyond the blue-gray fog was the rolling, goopy, bubbling noise of what sounded like a whole stream of some kind of sludge.
Christina felt like asking the woman where the hell they were, but she was a quick learner. An irrelevant question to be sure. In the meantime, she had the child to think about.
âCome take my hand,â she called back into the tunnel while extending a friendly palm.
The little girl stuck her head out and looked past the ledge with trepidation. âScary! This is scary! Iâm too scared!â And with that she started to pant and shiver with fear.
âChristina,â the woman said.
Her call was met by a little harmony of voices, as both Christina and the little girl replied in unison: âYes?â
Christina looked from the woman to the girl with a little shock and back again. The woman wasnât looking back at her. Instead, she had her eyes fixed on the little girl still on her hands and knees in the tunnel next to them.
The woman then bent down to the little girlâs level and looked in her eyes with a stern expression. âYou can do this. I know you can do this.â
The little girl looked back at the woman and cocked her head. The woman reminded her of her mother, but in some strange way she felt even more familiar. The way she said âknowâ with such confidence and understanding gave her pause. But that only lasted a moment before she shook her head and said, âItâs too scary. Iâm gonna fall!â
âChristina,â the woman said again, commanding the little girlâs eyes back to her own, âremember when you didnât want to ride the ferris wheel on that beach back in Movie City?â
âY-yesâŚâ the little girl replied with a puzzled expression.
âMovie CityâŚâ Christina muttered to herself in awe. She hadnât heard that term in ages. Thatâs what her late father called Los Angeles when she was taken to visit as a child. And that ferris wheel. The big one in Santa Monica. Riding it as a kid captured her imagination, and was one of a series of experiences that made her enamored with âMovie City,â eventually leading her to move there years later after college.
âYou rode it then,â the woman explained. âYou can do this now.â
The little girl crawled out and took the womanâs hand. The woman then turned to Christina and nodded her head, gesturing for her to take the girlâs other hand. Christina nodded in return, and then looked down to the little girl and gazed at the side of her face. The first time she had really gotten a good look at her since escaping from⌠wherever that place was before. She shuddered with surprise when she recognized that face. A face she had seen so many years ago. A face she would have nearly forgotten, but for occasionally revisiting old photos with her mom.
âOkay, everyone. Nice and slow, like this.â The woman started to side step to the left. Christina and the naked little girl between them followed her lead, hand in hand as they shuffled their way along the ledge. âAnd remember⌠donât look down.â
After a long period of sidestepping carefully along the precipice of that bottomless pit, the walls of the long gray corridor ran up to a third wall, perpendicular to both. A final dead end, bridging the gap. In the center of that wall was a great circular opening, a couple dozen feet in diameter. The women and the girl carefully climbed up into that vast hole. A hole that showed itself to be a kind of tunnel with the barest hint of light at its other end.
Just as they pulled the girl up into that great passage, in the distance a rhythmic tapping whispered in the dark. The sound grew steadily louder, as they all peered breathlessly into the far gloom. Against the backdrop of that remote light, a silhouette slowly increased in size.
Sooner than later, they both could recognize the nature of the sound. Footsteps.
âCâmon,â the woman said. And with that, they both advanced toward the figure for a bit, before she called to it softly in the dark. âHey, Phil, itâs me. And Iâve got the secondary with me.â
âExcellent,â a familiar voice replied. Familiar, yet different. Somehow Christina seemed to recall Phil sounding a little gruffer. Not in a gravelly rustic smoker kind of way, but just the subtle lower tones and rich maturity that came with age. This man sounded very much like the Phil she knew, but somehow⌠younger.
âWeâre not alone, though,â the woman explained, as she reached behind her and petted the head of the little girl hiding behind her legs in the dark.
âOh?â
âThe neefesh swapper ended up swapping in me as a child too.â
âWe donât know for a certainty that is you as a child.â At this, the woman let out a groan. She knew it was the prelude to a bit of pedantic pontification, but she let him continue nevertheless. âWe may have observed the growth process, but thereâs no way to empirically validate whether a neefesh even exists. For all we know we may be effectively clones.â
âWait, what?â Christina interjected with a gulp.
âOh, hello there,â Phil said as he turned to Christina in the dark. They could barely make out one another in the gloom. âMy name is Phil.â
âYouâyou donât⌠remember me? We met last night. At least, Iââ
âIâm afraid I donât recall said meeting, sorry. Apparently Iâor whoeverâs memories I inheritedâlived until the age of nearly fifty. That being said, as a secondary like yourself, my memories are from an earlier period. Last I recalled I was twenty-six. That would make me twenty-seven now I suppose⌠assuming my memories are remotely authentic. If not, Christina and I are only a year old or so, heh.â
âIâm this many,â the little girl interjected, holding up the dim silhouette of a small hand in the dark, extending all five of her fingers.
âH-how old are youâŚ?â Christina asked, turning to the other woman.
âForty-eight,â she said with a sigh.
âAnd, and⌠why am I a secondary exactly?â
âI came up with the term, actually,â Phil explained. âPrimaries are those who are awakenedâor potentially createdâfirst. Everyone starts out in the pools, as far as we can tell. But the primaries are generated firstâor âswapped in,â if you can believe the documentationâwhile secondaries come after. Usually not very long after. Most people only stay in the arboretum for a few days. Primaries have the full set of memories, while secondaries represent a snapshot of an earlier period. Well, at least âearlierâ from a certain relative perspective. Considering what weâve seemed to find out about spacetime here, itâsââ
âWait,â Christinaâthe younger woman, that isâinterjected. âWhat do you mean, by âfull setâ exactly?â
âIt means I remember dying,â the older Christina said.
A mixture of fear and malaise rippled through the younger Christinaâs body. Dead? Was she dead too? Was she destined to die at forty-seven? Or had she ever been alive in the first place? She slowly sauntered away from the group. It felt like when she was a child. Those times of such emotional distress that, in between open mouth crying, she felt like she had to go somewhere, but all she could manage was the most sluggish of shuffling between tears. But she wasnât crying now. At least not on the outside. After reaching nowhere in particular, she collapsed to the floor. A wet grimy floor sullying an already soiled robe, but she didnât particularly care. She had to catch her breath. One arm resting atop a bent knee. The other held lifelessly at the side of an outstretched leg.
In the dark, the little girl left the older Christina and went to the younger. She sat down next to her and cozied up to her like a cat. After a moment, the mid-30s Christina wrapped her arm around her child self and gave the little girl a muted smile. A barely visible gesture in that shadowy space. The girl in turn rested her little head against Christinaâs chest. Two lost girls comforting each other in the gloom.
The old Christina peering off at the two, finally turned back to Phil. âWhy did the process bring in the girl?â
âWell, in retrospect it makes perfect sense. From what we can tell, itâs a triadic entity that threatens us. In order to possess and assimilate, it likely needs a kind of tripartite instantiation.â
âA suitable hostâŚâ
âExactly.â
âWhat about⌠the others?â she asked with a shudder.
âOthers?â
âThere were other pools. Dozens of them. I donât even know how long that room went on.â
âAh⌠That might explain what I read about the golems. Held in stasis, devoid of any neefesh. Something like a philosophical zombie. Of course, like said entity, it would be impossible to tell. Any one of us could be the same for all we know. Assuming we know anything atââ
âExcuse me,â the younger Christina chimed in. âIs there something we can do for the girl here? Sheâs shivering.â
With that, Phil set down something in the dark. The soft plop of a sack. And from that container, the subtle rustling of some cloth.
âHere, stand up,â Phil gently commanded the little girl. In the dim gray light, he held up a robe to the child. Finding a good place to fold it, he ripped the robe nearly in two, tearing off a good chunk of its bottom. âThere. The arms are still too long. Weâll have to keep them rolled up. But at least this wonât drag on the bottom.â
âSo where are we going now?â the younger Christina asked. âHow are we getting out of here?â
âThe sheep gate,â the older Christina replied.
âWhat?â her younger doppelganger responded in confusion.
âThatâs what we call it,â Phil explained. âItâs one of a number of ruach portals for infused livestock. It seems mostly sheep that go through it. The point is that it connects back to Earth for the most part, as far as we can tell.â
âRuach?â
âLook,â the older Christina interjected, âwe donât have time to go over everything. The point is that we have a chance to get out of here. All of us. Got it?â
âThe real problem is avoiding any resistance,â Phil explained. âSpeaking of which, do you still have that flask of Persian powder?â
âI used it on a locust,â the older Christina said. âIt was damn near on top of us, so I used it all.â
âJesus,â Phil remarked quietly. âWell⌠fortunately I brought a whole liter of the stuff. Hopefully we can avoid using it.â
The older Christina replied with a nod.
âShall we get going then?â Phil asked.
The little girl grabbed the younger Christinaâs hand and squeezed it tight. She returned the gesture with a smile, before turning back to the others. Everyone then glanced back and forth at each other in the quiet dark of the tunnel and nodded solemnly.
After a minute or two of a quiet hike along the bottom of what seemed like a large drainage pipe, they were finally at the end of the tunnel. It, in turn, opened up to another yawning chasm. A massive cylindrical space that endlessly reached above and below to unseen heights and depths.
At least a thousand feet away beyond the foggy gloom in the distance was the other side of the shaft. Circumscribing it all around was another narrow walkway. This time, thankfully, was a shallow wall between the walkway and the bottomless drop beyond. It was some strange bit of alien architecture topped with intimidating spikes and lined with all manner of what looked like long running pipes of some kind. Its presence gave them all a little sense of reassuranceâeven if that sense was not exactly merited.
âSo what happens if this gate is closed?â the younger Christina asked, as she stepped out on to that narrow walkway with the child in tow.
âShh!â the older Christina replied, before stopping dead in her tracks and turning back to Phil, who was trailing at the end of their narrow line, all shuffling along the walkway. âDo you hear that?â
Phil listened intensely for a moment. A low murmuring drone echoed from the abyss below. And it was quickly growing louder. Phil nodded with a gulp and gestured to her to continue.
âWe have to move, quickly,â the older Christina said in a strained whisper. âMove, move, move!â
They all picked up the pace of their shuffling. That pace was ultimately set by the awkward steps of the little girl with her little legs. The younger Christinas had no idea what was coming, but based on the panicked disposition of the oldest, who was quickly leading them toward some kind of grate, it couldnât be good.
The increased pace finally got the best of the youngest Christina in the group. Right as their elder leader was opening the stone grate door, the little girl slipped and nearly tumbled onto the spiked wall to her left. The middle Christina holding her hand pulled her back with a gasp.
In the meantime the sound continued to grow louder. And louder. The walls were rumbling by the time Phil at the end was crawling through the grate. An ominous deep bass accompanied by a shrill whine. The new tunnel they were in was large enough for the three adults, when bunched up together, to stare back out the metal slotted fins of that grated stone door.
âI wanna see,â the little girl whispered as she jockeyed for a position.
Her request was met with a harsh refusal from the older Christina who sternly wagged her finger with an angry chopping motion, as she shook her furrowed-brow face âno.â The little girl then complied, albeit it with a fair amount of sulking.
As they looked on through the grate, the sound grew nearly deafening. And as it finally appeared, whooshing up from the abyss, another sound. A ghastly ethereal roar. An inhuman roar, that nevertheless had some strange vocal quality. It was like the sound of a loud torturous scream of a man, which had been somehow recorded and sped down. The sound stretched low in pitch and long in time. With that frightening sound came an even more frightful sight.
âWheelâŚâ Phil whispered with some mixture of awe and dread.
Before them, hovering in the middle of that great shaft beyond the door was an unfathomable monstrosity of seemingly mechanical mayhem. Defying all commonly intuited laws of nature, what floated before their eyes was a conglomeration of rings. Rings within rings. Massive rings, at least two or three stories of a modest building in size. Always moving within each other, even as the whole of that mass hung weightlessly in the middle of the dark chasm. And upon each ring were eyes. Endless columns of eyes, covering the surface of those rings. Rings of eyes all rotating past one another within a great abominable ball, floating above a great abyss.
That grotesque horror hung in the air for an interminable moment, before slowly starting to ascend again. The three breathed out a collective sigh of relief. The older Christina just started to turn away, when all three were shook to the core by another sound. A shrill familiar voice just beyond them in the tunnelâŚ
âI wanted to see!â that voice shouted. The impertinent cry of the little girl, now sitting on the tunnel floor with her arms crossed indignantly.
The little Christinaâs shout was met with a roar. The âwheelâ returned, and with haste. Those spinning wheeling rings of eyes came right up to the edge of the walkway. The tunnel rumbled all around. They instinctively covered their ears, before backing away from the door.
Then, just as quickly as it had whooshed down, it flew back up, ascending in a flash and taking its terrible sound with it.
âGod damn it!â the older Christina exclaimed.
âWh-what the hell was that thing?â the younger asked, trembling with wide eyes in the dark.
âTo and fro, throughout the whole earthâŚâ Phil muttered.
âWhat?â the younger Christina said.
âWheels,â the older Christina explained. âAt least thatâs what Phil calls them. Theyâre the eyes and ears of this fucking place.â
âI saw a lot of eyes,â the younger Christina replied. âBut I didnât see any goddamn ears. How the hell does that thingâ?â
âWe should keep moving,â Phil interjected with a sigh.
The older Christina breathed out a sigh and shook her head. âFuck! Letâs go then.â
They crawled along this new tunnel for a while in silence. Unlike everything else, this new passage way was dry. A little dusty, but notably devoid of the wet grime they had been trudging through before. It wasnât big enough to stand up in, but it could permit an awkward crouch. And in the distance were some bright streams of yellowish light that filtered down to their surroundings, leaving the tunnel illuminated with a dim grayish brown hue.
âYou didnât answer my question before,â Christina said. And her older counterpart already started to groan. âWhat happens if the gate is closed when we get there?â
âThen weâre shit out of luck,â the older responded quickly.
âWellâŚâ Phil said. âThere is plan B.â
âPlan B?â the younger asked.
âWeâre not doing plan B,â the older said.
âI admit it would be far less preferable, heh.â
âWhatâs plan B?â
The older Christina sighed and shook her head. Phil then spoke up and explained, âPlan B is to head back to the neefesh swapper and use the lateral entry chamber to swap ourselves back to Earth.â
âWeâre not crawling into a goddamn meat grinder coffin.â
âMeat grinder what?â the younger Christina asked, alarmed. She stopped for a moment in shock, before continuing to shuffle along on her hands and knees with the rest of the group.
âThe lateral entry chamber is a compartment just large enough to accommodate the subject in question. Per the documentation, the subjectâs neefesh is transferred to a calibrated entry point. You wind up back in your body, back in that dimension of reality we all used to know, while the neefesh thatâs there is swapped into a newly generated body back in the pools.â
âYeah,â the older Christina spoke up, âand then your âoldâ body here is torn to shreds and recycled in same-said chamber. For all we know, thatâs it. Could just be a plain old murder box.â
âHeh,â Phil replied, âfair enough. But then, itâs technically possible that we die all the time without realizing it. Maybe every night you go to sleep you die, and a new person wakes up in your body in the morning. The only reason they think theyâre you is because they inherit all the memories stored in your brain. Itâs like the ship ofââ
âJesus, this sounds familiar,â the younger Christina remarked.
âThe point is⌠weâre not doing the murder box,â the older said. âEven according to the documentation, best scenario is we send ourselves back in time just to essentially live it all over again without ever changing any outcome. Our memory would be precisely the same, so we would make precisely the same decisions, and, yada yada, weâre back here again living this hell all over.â
âWhere did you get all this âdocumentationâ anyways?â
âAh, well, thatâs something weâre just about to see,â Phil explained. And with that, he gestured to one of the distant light sources which was, as they progressed, steadily looming larger in the growing light of the tunnel.
âThe great library,â Phil said as he pointed to a stone grate on their right. The younger Christina stared in awe through that grate at a vast open space filled with ancient stone columns reaching up to unseen arches. Rows of bookshelves ran between those columns and extended off into the mists of a grand hall that seemed to stretch on indefinitely. âWhat weâve been crawling through has essentially been a kind of ventilation shaft, as far as I can tell. It connects a number of key locations. This library is reserved for the acolytes.â
âAcolytes?â
âYeah, Iâve managed to sneak in when theyâre not around. Fortunately Iâm fairly conversant with Paleo-Hebrew. The higher level documents are in the administratorsâ own language. And itâs one that has a remarkable resemblance to Paleo-Hebrew.â
âThis all reminds me of that crazy cult up in Thousand Oaks.â
âI remember that,â the older Christina interjected. âPoor Wilson family. I wouldnât doubt if it wasnât connected to the administration here.â
âMore than possible,â Phil said. âThey have their hands in a lot of things. Anyhow, Iâve been studying here at this library for a while now.â
âFor the better part of a yearâŚâ the older Christina noted wistfully.
âHey, remember this?â Phil asked her, as he pointed off to another light up ahead on the left side of the shaft.
âUgh, yes.â
âWhat is it?â the younger asked.
âThe arboretum,â the older replied bluntly.
As they came to that blazing light filtering through another stone grate, a painfully bright blur transformed to an entire landscape beyond that grate. To either side were rock faces. A rocky alcove framing distant hills. Lush and verdant hills dotted with trees. An entire river winding away from a rushing waterfall. And further still, the hazy silhouettes of distant mountains, all of which painted against a bright blue sky.
âWowâŚâ the younger Christina said with a gasp.
âItâs all very lovely and all,â the older remarked, âuntil you realize itâs a cage. A fake domed sky. And metal flooring only a few feet below the soil. I never would have known if he hadnât shown meâŚâ After she trailed off for a moment, staring out at that landscape, Christina quietly wiped a single tear from her worn face.
âDo you regret it?â the younger asked.
âNo,â the older replied, âno, not at all. I will always be eternally grateful to Phil for so many things. I wouldnât be here. You wouldnât be here.â And then, under her breath, she half whispered, âI miss him so damn much.â
âPhil?â
âThe older me,â Phil explained. âThey⌠knew each other. Came in at the same time. And before thatâŚâ
âWe need to keep moving,â the older Christina interjected, before sniffing away a tear. âThereâs no telling how much time we have left after that wheel.â
They continued on in silence for some time more, quietly shuffling along on their hands and knees passing by more stone grates as they went. At one in particular, the elder Christina gestured for everyone to stop. The child Christina blurted out âIâm hungryâ before the elder furiously held up a finger to her mouth and gestured for silence.
Half a moment later, as they looked on quietly, footsteps clanged and clattered along a metal walkway just outside the grate, as two looming figures stomped along. Two giants, at least 8 feet tall. Entirely human looking figures aside from their bright blue skin. So bright it seemed to glow in the dim corridor in which they traveled. Between them was half a dozen men and women being ushered along in chains, trembling in fear, as the two massive figures pulled them on a leash like dogs.
âGrash nagkh!â one of the giants exclaimed, before gesturing for them to stop as he pushed a button near a sliding stone door, causing the door to quickly slide open with a low scraping sound.
âPlease!â one woman exclaimed. âIâve been faithful all my life! I justâI just had some questions. The pro-procedure. Iâm still willing toââ
âUul galashg!â the other giant exclaimed as they both started to herd the small crowd into a room just beyond the sliding stone door.
âPlease!â a man called out. âI swear Iâll do whatever is asked of me from here on.â
To that, a fiendish smile slowly crept across the first giantâs blue face, just below two black pools of soulless eyes. He spoke out in halting English to the man, âYou do whatever we ashk, nakh?â
âYes!â the man shouted back as the giant closed the door. The manâs muffled voice continued through the clear window of the stone door. âAnything you ask!â
âGood!â the giant exclaimed. And with that, some hope came to the manâs eyes and an insecure smile started to form, before the giant spoke again. âThen we ashk you to die!â
And with that, the tall blue monstrosity slammed his finger against a button, sliding open another door behind the group. All of the men and women were then swept out of that apparent airlock. A whoosh quickly followed by a cacophony of muffled screams, before the outer door was closed again.
The giants then slowly sauntered off, chuckling, snickering, and casually bantering among themselves. Christina shuddered at the horror of what she had just witnessed, while the other two adults sighed in melancholic resignation.
Once the giants appeared to be gone, she turned and whispered to Phil and the older Christina. âWhat the hell was that?â
âDevas,â Phil explained. âTheyâre guards of sorts in certain sectors.â
âThose poor peopleâŚâ Christina said in lament.
âThey call that the âouter darkness,ââ Phil explained. âThere are worse fates in this place.â
âCome on,â the older Christina said quietly. âLetâs go.â And with that she lightly placed her hand on her younger counterpartâs trembling shoulder. She rubbed it momentarily as a gesture of comfort before gesturing her to follow.
The last leg of their journey grew darker. They had passed by a few more lighted grates before there were no more for a long while. They crawled on their hands and knees in pitch black for some time, before another shaft of light from another grate up ahead could be seen. They remained in relative silence, apart from the little girl who issued the occasional complaint.
Finally the younger Christina spoke up. âThereâs something I still donât understand.â
âYes?â the older Christina replied, neutrally. Her intolerance of âirrelevant questionsâ having disappeared for the time.
âWhy did you guys need me?â
âBecause⌠Christinaâs a primary,â Phil interjected. âThe gate is somehow able to distinguish. It can detect whatâs called a âterminalâ neefesh.â
âSo⌠youâre planning to just sneak in behind me?â the younger Christina asked with a growing smirk. âTailgate through security?â
âThereâs⌠no guarantee it will work,â Phil explained, solemnly.
âStay sharp, everyone,â the older Christina said. âWeâre almost there.â
They finally emerged at their destination. A ladder extended from that last grated portal to a platform a dozen feet below or so. From there, it dropped down to the floor of the vast room. A dimly lit chamber with a long walkway connecting to a large open ring. A glowing ring that reached from the floor to the ceiling. And within that ring a view to assorted landscapes beyond. That view would change every few minutes, as one member from a whole queue of sheep would walk through. Remarkably, each sheep appeared to be taking turns, waiting for the sheep ahead of it to enter the portal and then waiting for the portal to change before walking through itself.
After they had all descended to the first platform, taking extra care to help the little girl down the ladder, the younger Christina caught sight of the line of sheep in the distance. âHow⌠are they doing that?â
âWhy? Is that the weirdest thing youâve seen in this place?â the older Christina asked with a sardonic smile.
âHeh⌠fair point,â the other replied.
âTheyâre ruach-infused,â Phil explained.
âRight, you mentioned that.â
âA ruach is an incorporeal entity,â Phil continued. âItâs unclear where they fall in the hierarchy of beings here, but whatever it is they appear to be instrumental in influencing human affairs and shaping or reshaping history.â
âWhat the hell is with the sheep then?â
âWell, as I said, theyâre incorporeal. As far as I can tell, that has something to do with them being bound to the fabric of spacetime itself. Since weâre beyond normal spacetime along some other dimension here, they require a carrier. A corporeal organism to which they can attach and cross dimensional boundaries. Once theyâre on the other side once the host organism dies they are free to âreattachâ to the other⌠universe, I guess. Since livestock have been routinely slaughtered throughout human history, it provides an ideal avenue of entry. That may be why they apparently had a growing amount of influence in the past couple hundred years, considering the record increase of animal slaughter subsequent to the dawn of the industrial revolution and all.â
âHeh, okay, not gonna lie. You lost me a little bit.â
âHe does that from time to time, doesnât he?â the older Christina interjected. She gave Phil a warm smile, but in her eyes there was something more. Something like nostalgia mixed with grief. It was the other Phil she was thinking about. The one she had known for years. The one she had married. The one she had lost, before her own untimely death, and the one she had lost again less than a year ago. Was there some better truer space or time beyond all this where they might meet again? A part of her never lost hope.
The younger Phil that was actually there broke his gaze with Christina and looked off to the end of the platform. âSo here goes nothing, eh? Iâm gonna try to reprogram the portal from there. Anyone have any preference on time? We all come from different times after all.â
âThe earlier the better,â the older Christina spoke up. âAs far away from the invasion as possible.â
âInvasion?â the younger asked, but the others ignored the question.
âI guess that means my time, since Iâm the youngest and all, eh?â
âTechnically, thatâs little Christina here, Phil,â the older Christina remarked.
âHeh, I guess it might be foolish to pick back up my life where it was anyhow,â Phil said.
âWait, why?â the younger Christina asked. âWhy canât we go back to my time andâ?â
âBecause thereâs still another you,â the older replied. âAnother us back there. And trust me, a few short years from your time the world is not worth going back to.â
âWhy?â the younger asked. âThe invasion?â
The older nodded somberly. âRemember the locusts? Entire hordes of them. Multitudes of swarms of them coming from⌠oh my godâŚâ
âWhat is it?â
Phil gulped and lifted his hand. There he pointed off to the walls in the distance. An innumerable mass of sickening insectoid silhouettes. A whole swarm of whirring chittering monsters in the dark.
âMove!â the older Christina barked at the others. âTake the girl and get to the portal!â
âBut what are youâ?â
âI said move!â
Christina, the elder, fought the locusts with ferocity as the others escaped down the remaining ladder and ran toward the portal. She managed to toss the powder on one as she swung her rod at the others. Yet, for all her effort, one creeped up behind and rose its stinger in the air, before slamming it into her back. She called out with a blood curdling scream, before dropping her metal staff to the floor below.
The weapon lodged itself in a crevice, and in the midst of pain and anguish she fell from the platform to the floor below. When she did, it was in just the horrifically wrong way, as she became impaled on that metal rod, piercing through her chest just below her heart.
The three cowered, awaiting the inevitable onslaught of the locusts. The portal still had yet to open again. But then, just as their doom seemed near, a solitary sheep stepped forth from the queue and slowly sauntered toward the ghastly horde of monsters. With what looked like a nod from that curious wooly beast, the locusts stopped in their tracks, before slowly backing up and then hopping and crawling away back into the dark.
The younger Christina took the opportunity of this strange retreat to run back to the elder woman. The strange solitary sheep looked on, staring at them both ominously.
âOh my god! Christina! Oh my god!â
âYouâyou have to get⌠get through the gate.â
âWeâre not leaving without you!â
âNo good. IâmâIâm just glad Iâm in shock.â
The younger Christina held the older womanâs bloody hand, stared in her face and started to sob.
âThere has to be something. Something we canââ
The older Christina closed her eyes and took in long slow breaths. The stinger wouldnât have killed her. It only would have made her wish she were dead. She had seen it before. A fate debatably worse than death. Torturous pain for months on end. The blood rushing out of her wound emptied out the toxin, even as it bled out her life.
âYouâŚâ the older Christina muttered between breaths. âYou have to⌠to go. It was⌠always a long⌠shot.â
The younger Christina shook her head furiously between weeping tears. She had never had a sister. But this woman. Her older self. Someone that knew her in ways she didnât even know herself. And now she was passing away.
The older Christina stared into the eyes of her younger self and smiled. And then as though knowing the womanâs own thoughts, she breathed out, âI never had⌠a sister.â She then closed her eyes, leaned her head back, and let out one long last breath.
âChristina!â Phil called out to her from the portal, the little girl clinging to his hand. âWe have to go! Now!â
She wiped her tears away and nodded her head, before running back to the portal and there past the sheep. It turned its head as she passed, knowingly. It almost seemed to smile.
The three of them ran across the stone bridge as fast as they could. Man, woman, and child. All of them running through that round glowing gate. So focused on making it through, that they paid no attention to what came through behind. The sound of its clicking clacking hooves was drowned out by the deep drone of the gate and subsequent explosive burst of sound as they passed through it. The gate seemed to collapse all around with a whoosh.
On the other side, they found themselves atop a great grassy knoll amidst a series of other hills. It was the middle of the day. The first time any of them had seen daylight in a long time. Or perhaps even ever.
The peace and tranquility was interrupted, however, when Phil spotted something in the distance that made his heart race. A man on a nearby hill. And the muffled cries of a young boy.
âHey!â Phil cried out. The figure stopped for a moment and stared off in the distance, confused. Phil thought for a moment, and then cried out as he ran toward the figure. âMâah tou seh? Touf sikh!â
The strange bearded man seemed to understand, as he dropped the crude knife in his hand and turned toward Phil in awe. âCha eem lotai lohchim?â the man called out.
Phil asked him to repeat himself, and the two had a halting exchange. Whether on account of Philâs sudden appearance or curious white-robed appearance, he seemed to inspire some strange kind of reverence in the man and the man accordingly dropped to his knees. Phil grabbed the man and pulled him to his feet, while angrily shouting and pointing towards the boy. The man nodded excitingly and cut the boyâs bonds. Crude hemp ropes had criss-crossed the boyâs body. As soon as the man cut the ropes, the boy hopped off the pyre, before curling up in a ball of shaking tears.
Christina and the little girl looked on at the scene in shock and confusion. They hardly noticed the beast behind them. The sheep. It ran past both of them in a wooly blur, and scrambled down the hill and up the other where Phil and the stranger were standing. It then slammed directly into a thicket of thorns and started to bleat loudly.
The sudden thump and bristling cacophony threw Phil off guard. He turned and let out a startled cry, gasping at the sight of the strange sheep caught in the bramble. A shiver went down his spine as the sheep then turned its head ever so slowly and stared at Phil. He almost swore it smiled.
âUhni gholeh!â the bearded figure called out, and immediately lunged at the sheep, before pulling it out of the thicket and forcefully slamming it on the slab.
Phil backed away, and slowly retreated down the hill. With a slack jaw he walked backwards back up the other hill where the Christinas were.
âWhat is happening?â the adult Christina asked. âWhere are we?â
âMy godâŚâ Phil replied. âIs this when? I think⌠oh my godâŚâ
âTell me! Who is that man? What was he doing to that boy?â
âI⌠I told him to stop. But now thatâthat sheep. If this is what I think. If this is when I think⌠Oh my godâŚâ
Blood poured down the wood altar from the sheepâs slit throat. The bloody head of that strange sheep turned toward Phil and stared. Storm clouds gathered in the distance, and the sky started to darken, as an ominous peal of thunder boomed. A strong wind blew, and on that wind a voice could be heard in the air. Something like a deep cackling laugh, before whispering words in the wind.
All is as it was. There is no escape. It is all part of the plan.
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